Why you mistakenly think I’ve been stepping up my fashion game

My priest said to me yesterday, “What’s with all the dressing up lately?”

I had to explain. “You may think I’m stepping up my game, but it’s much more complicated. You remember my old sweater that I wasn’t allowed to wear anymore?”

“Yes.”

“And then I got the new sweater.”

“Yes, I helped pay for that sweater.”

“Right. And you remember that I accidentally set it on fire?”

“Yes.”

“So, now I’m not allowed to wear the new sweater out in public.”

“Is it still wearable?”

“Yes, there is just a stove heating element burn mark on it. So I only wear it around the house, but Jenn won’t let me wear it in public.”

“Probably a good idea.”

“Right, so it’s been getting a little cooler in the mornings, and I don’t have a sweater to wear. I don’t want to wear my parka because it’s not that cold. The only jackets I have are the 99 cent hounds tooth one I bought at a thrift store and the one that the Russian left for me on the porch in a plastic bag. It’s really not that I’m dressing nicer. They are just the only coats I have to keep me warm in the morning.”