Relax, don’t do it

I’ve been extra grumbly lately. I’m sure all of you people out there on the internets will tell me if I’m becoming too much of an old man.

So, lately, I’ve been hearing my local NPR station describe the music that they play all the time as “relaxing” classical music. With all those bone-rattling Telemann and Vivaldi concertos, I thought they may have a different definition of relaxing than I do.

Then I thought, “Hey, what gives, local NPR people? I usually reserve my compliments for relaxation techniques for my masseuse. Is the Mozart you are playing some sort of sonic shoulder massage? Do you find that Liszt works better for the gluts?”

Maybe I’m over-reacting. I’ll just try using it as a compliment more often and see how it goes.

“Hey, T.S. Elliot, I really like the Wasteland. It’s super relaxing.”

“Andy Warhol, your soup cans make me so chill. Love it.”

“Rothko, I totally zone out when I take a hit of your Untitled (Yellow, Orange, Yellow, Light Orange). Just makes me kick back.”

Also, some of you at that station are my friends, so don’t get upset. Just think of this as a relaxing blog post.