I was naturally excited when I read that 2014 had been proclaimed the “International Year of Crystallography”. (You can keep up with all the scintillating developments here.) I have a very dear friend who is a crystallographer, so I’m excited that after working so many years in comparative obscurity, he will finally be receiving some of the media attention he deserves.

When I first met my friend and he told me that he was a crystallographer, I was thought, “You get paid to study expensive champagne?!” It turns out, that is a “cristal”ographer. A noble profession, but it takes comparatively little training and almost everyone is qualified. My friend actually shoots x-rays into e coli proteins that are kept frozen with liquid nitrogen. It’s complicated stuff, and – as you might expect – the time it has taken to perfect that craft has left him a little less media savvy than the people over in the marketing department.

So, as we were driving past the research lab today, Avi and I decided to get the media frenzy started by creating what will soon be buzzfeed headlines for the year of crystallography. I texted Katie, the crystallographer’s wife, and she helped contribute. So, here are our top 13 mindblowing headlines that you won’t believe made it onto buzzfeed.

1. You won’t believe what this crystallographer did in the lab when no one was looking.
2. The 10 most mindblowing facts about prepared slides.
3. The top 5 crystallographer side-boob pics.
4. This crystallographer sucks…Literally. And the results are spectacular!
5. Use this simple trick discovered by a crystallographer to remove all your acne.
6. 10 amazing facts you never knew about Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystallographer!
7. This picture of a crystallographer hunched over a microscope is the cutest thing you’ll see all day.
8. Try this one easy tip to get that crystallographer body.
9. 4 reasons why crystallographers are the new NMR spectroscopers.
10. 23 things the crystallographer you are dating is hiding.
11. 117 e coli proteins ranked from best to worst.
12. 22 reasons dj-1 deserves your love.
13. 42 ways to up your protein purification game.