I found myself as the leader of a small group of 50 or so people living in an abandoned mining town in the Colorado mountains. The community lived in isolation from the rest of the world. The main problem was that no one in the town believes that it would be possible for anyone to carry enough food and water to make it to the closest city (which is oddly only three days ride by horse). Instead, the community lived in isolation, and they regularly complained about not being rescued. Occasionally, a train would come through the town, but the community was strangely incapable of attracting the attention of the conductor and engineer. So, the train would pass with people running alongside yelling and waving their arms, but it never slowed or stopped. Eventually, most people didn’t even bother trying to flag it down. The train’s rare passing accompanied by four or five townspeople running along side only served to reinforce the sense of isolation in the community.
I tried to convince people that a three day journey was within the realm of possibility, but an elder met with me to assure me that it was futile. In addition, he let me know that a faction of townspeople had grown intolerant of my constant attempts to rescue the community. A town meeting was held, and the opposition group not only opposed me, but began openly threatening my life. I warned them sternly that if they attempted to overthrow me by force that there would be dire consequences for the group that opposed me. This was when things began to get weird.
As the next scene opened, I was floating above a body of water in a swamp-like area. It was night, and the rebellious faction was pursuing me armed with automatic weapons. I once again warned them about the consequences that they would face for updating me. One of my magic human-sized bubbles had appeared beside me in the air. I attempted to enter it to avoid the machine gun fire but the bubble burst immediately. I descended into the water about waist deep and waited for the assailants to approach. I used the darkness (and apparently some superior combat skills I picked up from somewhere) to disarm the group one my one and render them unconscious. When they were all unconscious, I collected their bodies and placed them on a horse. I took the bodies and a large quantity of saline solution in medical bags.
When the group came to consciousness the next morning, the reason for the saline solution became apparent. I had brought the entire rebellion back to the meeting hall and had amputated all of their right legs below the knee. The implication was clear. When we make the journey to the outside world, you will not be able to join us. You can stay here like you wanted. In the group of amputees was a musicologist. A kindly voice teacher with two legs was carrying for the musicologist who was hopping around like the kid at the end of Wozzeck.
I went into the woods to collect some firewood with my dog Ozzie, where we were confronted by a grizzly bear. We began to run only to discover that he was heading toward a female bear that was some distance from us. As he ran past us, I realized that it was not an actual bear, but one of the townspeople in a grizzly bear costume. The female bear was his wife in the town. He ran up to her and tapped out a strange rhythm on her chest just below her neck while making ferocious noises. They began chasing each other around the camp. The chase included an exciting episode where the town’s old mining trough was used as a slide. The people dressed a bears continued chasing each other. A train passed through, and a few of the people that lost interest in the “bears” went off to chase down the train unsuccessfully.
In the meanwhile, Ozzie and I returned to the woods for firewood only to discover an actual grizzly bear who began to pursue us with astounding agility and speed. As the bear closed in, I woke up.
I was exhausted. I rarely dream, and I find the experience very draining. I rolled over to check the time. To my astonishment, it was 1:30 am, and I had only been asleep for an hour and a half. Thankful for a few more hours of sleep, I rolled over and dozed off.
I had obtained some object, and needed to move it to another location in a hurry. Whether or not I had obtained the object by legal our illegal means was unclear. I picked up my bike and began riding away from a park. A very tall and strange looking man began jogging next to me. Since I was attempting to move quickly, I was riding on streets that had a downhill incline. As I continued increasing in speed, I was astonished that the man jogging was keeping up and not even breaking a sweat. I turned and said, “How are you able to run this fast for so long? We must be going 20 miles an hour!”
“It’s really only a matter of training,” he replied. He was speaking casually and still not breathing hard. “If you train properly, you can learn to run very fast for great distances. How are you this morning?”
“I’m fine,” I replied curtly. I began to go down steeper inclines and pedal faster. Two girls began to follow on children’s bicycles. At this point, we were going around 40 miles per hour. My odd companion was still jogging beside me trying to make casual conversation.
As I continued to increase speed, I turned toward an even steeper hill. The bike was hard to handle because the handle bars had become tiny nubs. I was somehow aware that the jogger and the two girls following had ill intentions. The plan was to wait until I reached 70 miles per hour. At that point, the jogger would jam something into my front tire spokes and send me careening over the front of the bike. The girls would ride over to my mangled body and retrieve the object. I began to pedal faster and finally managed the smallest amount of distance from the jogger when I once again woke up.
I was exhausted. I rolled over to check the time. To my astonishment, it was 2:30 am. Thankful for the opportunity to sleep for a few more hours, I rolled over and dozed off.
An alarm went off at 3:30 for the departmental vocal recital that I have to play today. Somehow, the am and pm got switched. I rolled over and dozed off.
I awoke at 4:45 and had to pee. I made it back to bed and dozed off again.
A large object was in my mouth. I spat it out into my hand. It was an extremely large molar. It has clearly come out of my mouth and belonged to me. I was not in pain, but I immediately began desperately searching through my mouth to discover where a giant molar might be missing. I could find no such spot. I looked down again. The tooth was clearly my own and too large at the same time. I madly checked through my mouth again. No missing teeth. I woke up.
It was 5:30. I fell back asleep and woke up at 6:30, 15 minutes before my alarm went off. I got up thankful that there was no more time to sleep.
Recent Comments